Therapy for Self-Worth
"There is something bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire messy and imperfect life." -Tara Brach-
Does your inner critic speak louder than you do? Do you often feel awkward and self-conscious in social settings? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others and finding you never measure up?
Self-worth is a concept that speaks to how we feel about ourselves. Self-worth is about valuing yourself for who you are, not just what you do. At times in our lives when we're feeling low self-worth, we may hear our inner critics loudly telling us messages such as "I'm not good enough," "I'm not lovable," or "I'm not worthy." When these inner beliefs get triggered we often feel fear or shame and react with behaviors such as avoiding, isolating, or contracting our true selves in a number of ways. These reactions are there to protect us from the fear of rejection or isolation. However, over time they don't serve us in our true expression of self-worth. In other words, our energy goes more towards protecting ourselves than it does toward expressing our true selves.
Our blocks in self-worth can manifest in several ways:
- Depression and anxiety
- Lack of joy in life
- Anger, guilt, sadness
- Self-doubt
- A lack of resilience
- Loneliness
- Isolation
- Eating issues
- Codependency
How Therapy Can Help?
My work with clients on self-worth includes four stages:
Self-awareness
We work on stepping back and reflecting on the limiting beliefs that block a client's low self-worth, such as "I'm not worthy." This would include awareness of the feelings and body sensations that are also reacting to the limiting beliefs.
Self-compassion
This is a space for treating yourself with grace and kindness instead of constantly beating yourself up and judging yourself for various perceived inadequacies or mistakes that you've made.
Self-acceptance
This is about honoring and accepting your humanness. When we're caught up in self-judgment we can feel anxiety and depression. We can work on accepting and loving ourselves, even when we've made mistakes, had traumas, or losses. When we remember who we are wholeheartedly, even with our imperfections, we can open up to life with courage and connection.
Bloom
This stage is about reclaiming and thriving in your life. It's about letting yourself be who you are rather than constrained by who you think you should be. If there has been past trauma, this stage is often referred to as "post-traumatic growth." It is often a stage of curiosity and creativity. It's about leading with your core self-energy instead of fear and doubt. In this stage your old coping strategies take a step back so you can return to who you are, and always have been.
Working with your therapist will help you to connect the dots in your life and provide you with tools so you can change your inner critic stories and replace them with self-love and self-compassion. If you'd like to learn more please reach out.